https://slama.dev/comeback/
Yeah, ABBA, well, they can always lift your spirits.
Not today.
Good God, what has Ozzak done to you this time?
Did he call you a mollusk again?
You mean old clam?
No, Ozzak is exceptionally innocent this time.
I'm having a terrible day.
This morning Zoran took my car because they're installing bulletproof glass in his.
I thought he already had them.
He thought so too until Tuesday.
So I had to take the metro, but I accidentally bought a child's ticket and got caught by an inspector.
Did you get a fine?
Forget the fine.
He told me if I think I look fifteen, I belong in a nuthouse, not on an escalator.
And at the deli?
At the deli?
They packed me garlic paste instead of the grain sprout salad.
I noticed at the register and the woman said take it or leave it and stop holding up the line.
I can tell you took the paste.
But that's over now.
I'm no...
Pushover.
...pencil sharpener.
Creative Conflict course by Dr. Stehno?
It was in Perfect Woman magazine, I've already signed up.
Become a communication ninja?
Handle anyone in fifteen lessons?
I had no idea you could learn that.
That would help me handle Ozzak.
Where is he anyway?
Sleeping in the closet.
He hid as soon as I put on Mamma Mia.
Don't worry, Marcelka, I'll handle him.
Ozzak!
Tomas, leave him be.
It's in me.
I filled out the entrance test and I got banana.
How?
Those are personality types according to Michurin.
Banana is the softest.
You can't believe such nonsense.
Come on, Ozzak!
And who did that to you?
The barber, a month ago.
What did you do to upset him?
Don't get into that now, drop it!
Bro, how many times have I told you I don't want you leaving Marcelka alone at the counter?
And the old pepper tattled again, huh?
How dare you talk about Marcelka like that?
She didn't complain.
Right, but she's not a pepper, she's a ba...
Your colleague.
You're simply going to treat her with respect.
You're not going to take advantage of the fact that she's soft.
Please stop defending me.
But I meant well.
So can I go back now?
You know what, sort it out between yourselves.
Wait, come here.
Here's a letter for you.
Prase is writing?
Hmm, I'd be surprised, he always writes everything on beer coasters.
Prase?
Yeah, Ozzak's best friend.
He always promised to send him a coaster from every city where he had a beer.
The stroller room is full of them.
If anyone has a baby, there'll be trouble.
What is it?
The bartender from Marik's is writing.
Prase is dead.
Just two weeks ago he wrote from Iceland that he was coming home.
Really?
I don't remember a coaster from Iceland.
Because the mail lady refused to put it in her bag.
It was big and smelled a bit, you know.
So I had to go to the post office.
Libal writes that he arrived a minute after opening, had his fourteen pints, praised the beer, said in Iceland they serve piss because glaciers may be great for cooling but you can't replace hops with lichen.
He finished his drink and that was it.
A beautiful death.
Yeah, Prase knew how to live.
And how to die.
Indeed.
To Prase.
These pub nicknames are terrible.
How can Ozzak call someone Prase at a time like this?
That's cruel.
But his name was Prase.
I thought his nickname was Abortion.
But Ozzak banned it.
He thought it was cruel.
Bro, where was Prase's name Prase?
Of course.
It must be a blow for him.
He and Prase were practically twins.
If you don't believe me, take a look.
Ozzak, why are they sending you an ID card?
Ludek Prase Pacovsky?
How Pacovsky?
Well, bro, you know, I kind of forgot to tell you, but I adopted him.
What kind of nonsense is that?
When you were singing that awful disco, I just missed having a brother.
Adults can't adopt each other.
Why not?
Old Houba would write anything into the registry for three bottles of rum.
Appalling.
No wonder they called him Mushroom, being that way.
Houba's name was Houba.
Ondrej Was-For-Houbova.
Friendly building league.
What are you doing here?
I thought we were working on the report together.
I wonder how a half-wit like you could help me with it.
Yeah, I'm not in the mood for this now.
Well, I'm not in the mood to get punished because of this.
But I said I'd help you.
Let's see then.
What was the name of the ancient heroine?
Daughter and sister of Oedipus, who buried her slain brother even though it was forbidden.
Antigone.
Even she knows that.
And do you know what Lexa said during the exam?
Even though Sasa was whispering the answer.
She mumbles so badly though.
Antigynda!
If you hadn't laughed so stupidly, nothing would have happened.
If you hadn't called me stupid, nothing would have happened.
If you hadn't called me an idiot, I wouldn't have thrown the sponge at you.
If you hadn't ducked so badly, the teacher wouldn't have gotten hit.
Enough!
I'm not going to listen to this when the family is in crisis.
You say that even when the juice runs out.
Don't trivialize this.
Your irresponsible uncle infiltrated the family with a person named Prase who just died.
That's unbelievable.
Though since the time he came and said his friend Sycak would be living with us, nothing surprises me.
Who had a problem with Sycak?
He was clean, quiet, didn't eat much and just slept all the time.
Tomas, was Sycak a last name or a nickname?
It was a snake.
Hello.
Ah, hello.
Have you been to that creative conflict course?
Do you have a problem with that?
Why would I have a problem with that?
Answering a question with a question is pathetic.
But you also answered my question with a question.
Big deal with such a trivial thing.
I used trivialization.
Stehno is right.
Trivializing your opponent confuses them perfectly.
Right?
No.
Tomas, that course completely changed my life.
Zoran gave me back my car.
Of his own accord?
Of his own accord.
I demanded it.
He yelled at me that I'm a spoiled hysteric.
So I told him he's a deranged Albanian and he should take a taxi.
Stehno completely changed my view of social interaction.
It would do you good too.
And why do you think?
Your eternal conflicts with your brother.
You handle them like an amateur.
Even Stehno is no match for Ozzak.
Stehno can handle the impossible.
Today they accepted my complaint at the Vietnamese market.
I don't believe that.
But yes.
All it took was a little controlled aggression.
What's that?
You do it like this.
You look them in the eye and say very calmly.
If you keep pretending you don't speak Czech, I'll set fire to your stand.
He gave me my money back and threw in a towel with Sandokan on it.
Fine, so what does Stehno say I'm doing wrong?
Well, when he does something wrong, you turn red and start yelling.
Ozzak!
And that's wrong?
Yes!
Stehno says, he who shrieks, won't convince.
Be firm, yes, but don't forget to hear him out.
Explain where he went wrong and back your arguments with a threat.
But careful, you must be able to follow through, otherwise the conflict will repeat.
Ozzak, where have you been?
Work starts at 8:30, it's already noon.
At the Badger!
Simona tapped a dark one and we held a minute of silence for the deceased.
I managed to down three.
I told you that if you don't follow work hours, I'll stop paying your tab at the Badger.
To me, sure, but you wouldn't say that to Simona's face, would you?
Ozzak...
Fine, so you'll cover for Marcelka this afternoon.
Unfortunately that won't work.
I gotta run.
And what's so important that you have to do?
I'm arranging the funeral.
Libal told him they'll keep Prase in the cooler until Monday at most.
After that the health inspector comes.
Yeah, and I told the guys we'd pay for the funeral.
He was family after all, right?
Ozzak!
Antigone must have really loved her brother to risk her neck for him.
I wonder what she would have done if her brother was Ozzak.
What did he do?
He dragged a stranger into our family.
Dad was furious.
That's how furious Mom was when I brought home a stray kitten.
It was gone the next day.
I sometimes think she flushed it down the toilet.
She didn't.
How do you know?
Well, let's not get into the details, but maybe you could try again.
Sycak is already out of the house.
Lunch again.
What are you pouting about?
Fat noodles again.
I know you're gonna just pick at it again.
Auntie, are you also mourning that Prase guy?
Of course, he was a great guy.
That's what Ozzak says too.
You don't remember him?
No.
Even though he practically raised you?
Really?
Of course.
Probably Sasa and Lexa too.
Whenever I came home, they were fed, washed and in bed, so...
Either the building manager or Prase.
Wasn't he the guy who blew his nose into my sock?
Of course.
Poor guy.
He was allergic to baby powder.
But it's impossible that you don't remember him.
Really, not a clue.
Whenever Tomas went on tour, you were here with Prase and Ozzak all the time.
Prase even made you a play corner under the tap, packed with toys.
So Ozzak bought me toys?
No, they made them for you.
You absolutely loved that five-liter jar with the pickled sausage.
You played aquarium with it all day long.
No, that's nonsense, because I clearly remember having a real aquarium.
Really?
Yeah, I had two fish in it, they were called Little Sausage and Smoked Meat.
But wait, I remember clearly they were fish, they had little fins.
That was the onion garnish.
Simona, we need to talk.
Go ahead, vent, I'm used to it.
So I went to the registry office and guess what, Prase is actually registered as Ozzak's and my brother.
You could always count on Houba.
That's to be expected from him.
But you know what really surprised me?
Our sister is registered there too.
Simona Bucek Pacovska.
What were you trying to do?
I figured if something happened to me and Libor was back in prison,
you could take care of the kids.
What?
And seeing how you treat your dead brother, I wouldn't even entrust them to you.
If I hear one more time that Prase was my brother, I won't be held responsible!
You should be proud.
Are you kidding me?
He was flawless.
Except for the name.
When I was young I married him, but I didn't want to be called Mrs. Prase.
Right.
Could you sign this for me?
What is it?
Material liability?
I need to cover myself in case something gets broken at the party.
Ozzak invited all his old buddies.
And how's he planning to pay for it?
What do you mean?
Same as always.
What is it?
I'm not paying for anything.
You want to be cheap about a dead person.
Penny-pinching on your own family like this.
As for the family, for tomorrow get me five bottles of rum ready.
Well, that's more like it.
Are you sure about the rum?
Prase used to say rum is a woman's drink, that real men drink draft spirits.
That rum is for the registry office.
Houbova has gotten quite ambitious.
So let's recap.
Hop wreaths, peony flowers, glass coffin.
With a handle.
And then there's your request for the deceased to be accompanied on his last journey by the band Brutus.
Unfortunately that's not possible.
Why?
For these purposes we have a contracted trained singer, Mrs. Marta.
She's a true artist, a beautiful alto.
And the director's wife.
But Prase would have wanted the Brutus guys.
I tried to explain this to the director.
His decision stands.
However, he unofficially suggested that if you contact Mrs. Marta directly and she agrees to learn the song "Let's Get Drunk" instead of her favorite...
The Lord Is My Shepherd.
He won't object either.
Mrs. Marta has considerable influence over the agency.
But that's just my private observation.
Bro, quickly say goodbye to your pal here, we need to talk.
This is Mr. Tichy from the funeral home.
Hello.
And why is he dressed like Mitch Buchannon?
The director insists on it.
The company motto is the Mona Lisa.
Our reward is a smile on the faces of the bereaved.
And according to him, black unnecessarily depresses the mourners.
And what do you want here?
I'm discussing the funeral details of your brother with your brother here.
That's not my brother.
You're not his brother?
Of course I am.
The other one.
Damn it, bro.
But you are the brother of the deceased?
Sure, but not for long.
Tomorrow I'm going to Houba and this whole registry circus ends.
And I won't pay for the funeral, or the reception, or anything.
After everything Prase did for us?
Yeah, so what?
Lots of things.
Name one.
Fine, as you wish.
Remember when I brought Ivuska from kindergarten and she was soaking wet?
I said it was raining?
Yeah.
Well it wasn't raining!
Prase pulled her out of the fountain she fell into while fishing for my beer money.
Ozzak!
I'll take my leave now.
I'm sure you'll want to cope with your grief in private.
Five bottles of rum will cure my grief.
Man.
This isn't a book, this is a madhouse.
For kids it's actually quite interesting.
Interesting?
It's not normal.
Her dad is also her brother.
That confuses me a little too.
It only confuses you a little?
Yeah.
But mostly I'm confused about why Antigone buries the brother who isn't her father when she knows it's forbidden.
Wait, that's the one thing I understand, it's written there.
Because he'd otherwise never find peace.
But that's his punishment, he attacked their city.
I don't get why Antigone has such a problem burying her brother.
Shut up.
Why does she make such a fuss about it?
Probably because it's forbidden.
But you'd bury me without hesitation, right?
No.
Why not?
Well, if it was forbidden.
But if I needed it, you'd bury me, right?
No.
Sis, cut it out.
Lexa, stop it.
When you need burying, come to me.
See, sis?
Would you really bury him?
Anytime.
Even if the president forbade it?
And why would the president forbid her?
I don't know, what if you attacked Prague.
Lexa could never pull that off.
What are you talking about?
Easy.
And why would you do that?
If it pissed me off.
Lexa, you said the same about Horacek.
He hasn't pissed me off yet.
Not even when he stuck a note on your back saying "king of all queers" yesterday?
Lexa, some hero you are.
I'm not starting anything when I know you wouldn't even bury me.
Hey, you really wouldn't bury him?
I don't know, it's tough.
We should probably bury relatives, right?
Relatives especially.
So what about the burying?
Well, I'd bury him if it wasn't forbidden.
Who's forbidding you?
The president.
What?
He's not forbidding me now, but if he did, what could I do?
Why would the president forbid you from burying Lexa?
If I attacked Prague.
Lexa, you're not planning to do something stupid, are you?
Not yet.
Good.
Now listen carefully, I won't repeat this twice.
Don't get into big stuff, leave that to politicians.
Stick to smaller things.
Like Uncle Horvat.
There's no shame in it and you can still make a buck.
Got it?
So, burying is allowed, but watch out for the president, got it?
What?
Why watch the president?
Hello.
Say hello.
What do you want?
I just came to let you know she's no longer my sister.
I went to the registry office.
What a relief.
Wait, what do you mean?
If you hadn't gone, I'd have had to go myself.
Well, I'm surprised you're being so reasonable.
Could you pay Ozzak's tab?
But it's only the fourth, right?
Just in case.
Wait, just in case?
How do I know if tomorrow Ozzak won't stop seeming like a good enough brother too?
Good Lord, what's gotten into all of you?
Fine, a man died, it's sad, I get it.
He was your friend, you loved him.
But for me he was a complete stranger, you understand?
You can say that after everything he did for you.
And what did he do for me?
And who do you think went to Ozzak and told him you're all alone with a little girl, so he should get a decent job and come help you?
Prase?
Well, who else?
Do you know why Ozzak had Prase registered as family?
To annoy me, probably.
No, so Prase could pick up Iva from kindergarten.
What?
Well, occasionally, you know.
Yeah.
Since then Ozzak was afraid she might fall into something again, so Prase would pick her up.
He'd always bring her here and from here Ozzak would walk her home.
And why didn't you tell me?
I could have found a babysitter.
And you wouldn't be ashamed?
Entrusting a child to a stranger?
Hello.
Are you having a good day?
Certainly.
The sun is shining, clear blue sky, lilies are blooming.
Is Mr. Pacovsky here?
Why do you ask?
Where I come from, answering a question with a question is considered pathetic.
Big deal.
Trivialization won't work on me.
I'm just trying to find out who you are.
And what business is it of yours?
I always do that when I see a suspicious individual.
That was an insult.
Yes.
I apologize.
Let's start over.
Very well.
Hello.
Is Mr. Pacovsky here, please?
Why do you ask?
You're answering with a question again.
Big deal.
May I know your name?
I won't stand for this confrontational style.
You're the one who started this confrontational style.
Don't interrupt me.
I'm leaving.
I'm not wasting my time with some shrieking harpy.
That was an insult.
And that was a mistake.
Would you like to add anything?
No.
So now you're going to apologize nicely.
Otherwise I'll slam you to the ground right here.
That was a mistake.
You're using a threat you can't follow through on.
Stehno doesn't teach this, but two years of judo aren't forgotten.
Wait, you know Dr. Stehno?
Of course.
But he's my guru, I've been studying with him for ten years.
I'm just a beginner.
But you've got talent.
What type are you?
I started as a banana, but I'm already a cucumber.
Kohlrabi.
How did you manage that?
I also took the unbearable assertiveness course.
I see.
So where is Mr. Pacovsky?
Why do you ask?
I came to inform him that we're a funeral home, not a charity.
Big deal.
Trivialization?
I had no idea he sent so many.
It was his dream during communism, you know.
When freedom comes, return all the empty bottles, go abroad and taste every beer in the world.
And Prase did it.
France, champagne.
The beer here is light, sweet and they sell it in 700ml bottles with a cork.
I'm having a great time.
Kisses, Ozzak.
Prase.
You really don't remember him?
Not a clue.
But what about this?
That is, I know that.
Of course, you painted it.
That's us?
Sure, you painted it when he left.
You missed him terribly.
Wait, wait, I remember something.
We went to see him off.
I waved for a really long time and then my arm hurt.
Because nothing stopped him for five hours, even though we were using you as bait.
But he said he'd be right back, that he was just going to Zatec to check on the hops.
He fibbed a little, otherwise you wouldn't have stopped crying.
He always understood kids better than me.
He said you'd be sad for a while, then it would pass quickly, that little kids are like that, and you'd soon forget him.
But he'd never forget you.
The funeral is tomorrow.
Somehow they worked it out with Dad.
It won't be fancy, they say category C minus.
What's that?
Burlap sack, boxers, undershirt, sandals.
But he wouldn't mind.
He dressed like that even in winter.
He was modest.
I'll show you something.
For tomorrow.
Oh, Ivuska.
Won't Dad be mad?
A brother has to be buried.
That's been known for thousands of years.
Hi, Ivuska.
Well, you look nice.
Thanks.
You too.
Ozzak, can I really come even though I'm not family?
Sure, the more women in black, the better.
Prase loved looking at them.
They reminded him of waitresses.
Right folks, everything's ready.
Mrs. Marta has been warming up since morning.
She's had two bottles of wine already, so she's getting quite tolerant.
Just a small thing to set the mood.
I wouldn't do this, but the boss insists.
We're supposed to put these on now?
Do you have a problem with that?
Big deal.
I'll kick you into a ball.
And I'll roll you away.
Fine.
All right, bro, if you really haven't changed your mind.
I don't know him that well.
Mom, so we painted those signs for nothing.
What signs?
So?
How was the funeral?
Unbelievable.
Three hundred people.
And Mrs. Marta?
Man, what an old cobra.
She rocked it with the Brutus songs, man.
By the chorus the whole crematorium was moshing.
And then the wreaths started catching fire.
I cried like a baby.
So what brings you to the Badger?
I needed to ask you something.
Yeah?
You wouldn't happen to have any idea who the mysterious benefactor is who ended up paying for Prase's A-plus funeral, including the glass coffin with handle?
No.
Mrs. Marta let it slip after her third bottle.
Oh.
Thanks.
You're a brother.
Yeah.
Come on, stop it, you're the king of all queers after all.
So you really are going to stay brothers.
I hope you're not dipping into Ozzak's savings too, are you?
Prase wouldn't like that.
No, I had something set aside for a funeral.
For your own?
Yeah.
Wow.
Well bro, if you kick the bucket before you save up again, I'll sell the coasters.
So I really am a brother.
Well, thanks.
Things are probably getting started at Simona's.
Feel like hitting the town?
Let's pig out like Prase.
So, to brotherhood.
And nothing for little sister?
I'm putting it on your tab, okay?
No, he can't be short on cash right now.
Add it on, right?
Man, bro.
You talk just like Prase.
One more round then.